shabby wit: baby wipes altered my sex life…

 

 

Let me Romare Bearden (paint) the picture for you.

Me and my girl.  My crib.  Mid-day.  Feelin sexy.  Crunched for time.  In the mood. Impromptu love…

So we launch into a savage and frenzied game of touch and touch.  Hot and bothered.  We humid.  Fubus, Lugz, Joe Boxers, Forever 21’s are torn asunder and hurled about.  Moist flesh.  Pheromones.  The air is ablaze.  2 minutes and 20 seconds have elapsed.  Time for the jump off.  And then…  I push PAUSE.  Bring it all to a screeching halt.  Why?  Man, it just so happens that on this very day – at this particular moment in time – I have funky-nuts and/or a lil’ booty-juice.  Yep. I needed to hop my tart ass into the shower.  Don’t trip fellas.  You know it happens every now and then.  Even to the most fastidious of us.  And if you’ve ever been in this unfortunate situation, you know that this stop-in-action is an immediate mood kill.  It’s an error.  A fumble.  A tricked lay-up.    We’ll, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t always have to go down like this…

My name is Kdizo.  You can call me dizo.  Baby wipes changed my sex life.  For the better.  In those ever so crucial categories of quickies/nooners,  baby wipes uped my stats.  They helped me to become more consistent.  Fewer tricked lay-ups.  I bet they can do the same for you.  Now I understand, that given the above scenario, some of you more uncivilized studs might try to maintain forward progress and push through.  Hey, I’m not here to judge.  I’m no expert.  Do what you gotta do to be you.  But man, let me tell you, it is hard to recover after you’ve left a bad taste in someones mouth.  So I humbly suggest that you play it safe.  Get some baby wipes.  And the next time you and yo shawty line up for a quickie, and you feelin a little tart.  Don’t fret.  Calmly run into the bathroom.  Go up under the sink.  Pull out 4-5 baby wipes and – wipe.  Get on the sides and up under the nuts-sack.  Don’t forget the taint and yo funky ass. After that, take the remaining clean wipe and dust off the shaft.  It’s that simple.  30-45 secs and you’re good to go.

Yours Truly;

Coach K(dizo).

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One Response

  1. Only if all men had the same sence of awareness as you. “Left a bad taste”, too funny!

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